beware of the ‘friend zone’ – part 2

Yesterday’s Beware of the ‘friend zone’ – part 1 is a must-read if you need a thorough and pseudo-scientific definition of the friend zone and how it plays out in girls’ lives. It will make today’s post make oh-so-much sense. So just run on over and read it real quick, will ya’?

Part 2 —–

“Beware of the friend zone.”

You’re secretly wishing he’ll notice that you’re who he wants. But the fact is, you’re not even on girlfriend radar.

Paranoia sets in and you ask yourself the ultimate question: How can I change myself to become the girl he wants? I’ll be stuck as his friend if I don’t.

This? This is one of the heartbreaking symptoms of the friend zone. Sweet, godly, beautiful girls so desperately want to climb out of the perpetual friend zone that they succumb to the sickening lies of self-doubt. They begin adopting words, behaviors, clothes, and attitudes foreign from who they already are – and who they know Lord has created them to be.

They choose these things in order to be chosen. Old self. In the pit of self-doubt, the enemy convinces girls that these characteristics are desirable outside of the friend zone. They are what will get them noticed in a new light. Liked. Dated.

Beware of the friend zone. Not because godly male friendships are dangerous to girls. But because in the face of potential rejection, they will meet temptation to change themselves into someone new. Except it’s the old.

Please, talk to your girls about the lies and dangers of the friend zone. Tackle the topic of healthy male friendships. Teach them to trust the God who is at work in their lives, transforming them into His likeness.

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy. 1 Peter 1:14-16

Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24

beware of the ‘friend zone’ – part 1

“Beware of the friend zone.”

Wish I had a buck for every time I heard that from girls. I’d be filthy rich. (And then, of course, tithe ten percent, build wells in Africa, and sponsor no less than 27 Compassion children. C’mon. Give me some credit.)

So, the friend zone. It’s a thing. A dramatized, pop culture-ized thing. It might as well be the plague or some other wildly rampant and ironically incurable disease because yes, it’s “that bad.”

I’m here to shed timely light on the dreadful friend zone, with the help of a few experts: a gaggle of sophomore girls. They have been fed mass quantities of M&Ms and Coke and are surprisingly willing to help.

Here’s how the friend zone works, according to these now pre-diabetic girls:

Say you meet this really hott boy (the extra ‘t’ is critical). The two of you are instant friends. He’s funny, athletic, plays guitar, and tutors at-risk kids. Oh, he happens to wear V-neck tees and Toms shoes (philanthropic, a bonus!), and loves Jesus.

You start leading FCA together. Text Scriptures to your entire class. He to the boys, you to the girls. You don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression, do you? You and Mr. V-neck are a match made in… heaven. That’s right. Your feelings accidentally changed  from ‘we’re great friends’ to ‘God-told-me-I’m-going-to-marry-him-in-this-dress-I-saw-on-Pinterest’ somewhere between admiring his purity ring and memorizing his lacrosse number.

But the germs of the friend zone have already crept into your fledgling relationship. You heart him, but he placed you in the official friend zone weeks ago. That’s practically a life sentence: undateable.

Sure, he’s going to go out with eleven girls this year and ask you to meet each one. You’ll offer kind words and encouragement. Why? You’re secretly wishing he’ll notice that you’re who he wants. But the fact is, you’re not even on girlfriend radar.

read”‘Friend Zone’ – part 2″ tomorrow