beware of the ‘friend zone’ – part 1

“Beware of the friend zone.”

Wish I had a buck for every time I heard that from girls. I’d be filthy rich. (And then, of course, tithe ten percent, build wells in Africa, and sponsor no less than 27 Compassion children. C’mon. Give me some credit.)

So, the friend zone. It’s a thing. A dramatized, pop culture-ized thing. It might as well be the plague or some other wildly rampant and ironically incurable disease because yes, it’s “that bad.”

I’m here to shed timely light on the dreadful friend zone, with the help of a few experts: a gaggle of sophomore girls. They have been fed mass quantities of M&Ms and Coke and are surprisingly willing to help.

Here’s how the friend zone works, according to these now pre-diabetic girls:

Say you meet this really hott boy (the extra ‘t’ is critical). The two of you are instant friends. He’s funny, athletic, plays guitar, and tutors at-risk kids. Oh, he happens to wear V-neck tees and Toms shoes (philanthropic, a bonus!), and loves Jesus.

You start leading FCA together. Text Scriptures to your entire class. He to the boys, you to the girls. You don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression, do you? You and Mr. V-neck are a match made in… heaven. That’s right. Your feelings accidentally changed  from ‘we’re great friends’ to ‘God-told-me-I’m-going-to-marry-him-in-this-dress-I-saw-on-Pinterest’ somewhere between admiring his purity ring and memorizing his lacrosse number.

But the germs of the friend zone have already crept into your fledgling relationship. You heart him, but he placed you in the official friend zone weeks ago. That’s practically a life sentence: undateable.

Sure, he’s going to go out with eleven girls this year and ask you to meet each one. You’ll offer kind words and encouragement. Why? You’re secretly wishing he’ll notice that you’re who he wants. But the fact is, you’re not even on girlfriend radar.

read”‘Friend Zone’ – part 2″ tomorrow